“there’s no red thread in my content! I don’t know what I should tell my audience! I don’t have a clear method to write! I don’t know what to do!”

I get pissed off for allowing myself to be confused. I act controlling and condescending to myself: “get a bloody grip on yourself and just take a decision!”

That triggers the rebel in me: “Oh yeah? You want confusion? I’ll show you confusion.”

The solution is not to yell at yourself.The solution is to lean into the confusion.

Make friends with her: invite her in for tea. Understand why she keeps knocking on your door. Hi Confusion! What do you need? What are you looking for?

My confusion wants reassurance. It’s a good student. It would like a clear sign that I’m doing things well. If only I knew I’m doing the right thing, I could do anything, however difficult.

I pour more tea and ask gently: what are you afraid might happen otherwise? It tells me I’ll have no clients and will have to take another job. That I’ll be so disappointed and ashamed I couldn’t make a career as a coach work out for me.

The confusion is there to avoid having to feel the shame. Isn’t that sweet? As soon as I realize this, confusion goes away and I’m able to take a decision.

Just like that.

No bad horses, only untrained riders 🐴