January 13, 2021

Mélanie Boucarut

Silver linings

I work with high achievers, help them get their energy & confidence back when they suddenly can’t get stuff done. Many of them are outstanding at dismissing any problem or doubt they have and look for the good side:

I broke my leg? Awesome, I can catch up on my reading! Got fired? Exactly the kick I needed to start my company! My dog died? At least now I can sleep in the morning.

It’s a great ability to find silver linings. But when we do this like Brian on the cross, whistling “always look on the bright side of life” as we’re getting crucified, we’re just resisting our feelings.

Then we wonder why we can’t seem to take action.

We look for the good thing to avoid confronting how we feel about the bad thing. But the bad feelings don’t just go away. They pile up until you end up sobbing for hours in front of a dull rom-com; rage uncontrollably at your kid who did something vaguely stupid; or have a burn-out.

Unpleasant feelings are a monster under your bed: the idea of the monster is much scarier than what’s actually there (a bit of dust and an old Lego brick, last time I checked).

Look under the bed. Get acquainted with the scary part of the situation. That’ll make you feel better. And only then, look for the silver lining.

No bad horses, only untrained riders 🐴

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You know that I normally disapprove of eating instead of embracing discomfort, but in this specific case we’ll actually go for cookies...

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