February 18, 2021

Mélanie Boucarut

Taking responsibility vs blaming

When we’re in victim mentality, we assign all power to a villain: a person, a group, a situation…

I’m not saying the situation doesn’t exist or the person has lovely intentions. I’m pointing out that when we give them full charge for how we’re feeling, we’re giving away our power.

In a pickle, would you rather believe “I’m screwed, there’s no way out of this one” or “I’m going to give everything I have to make this right”?

The 1st thought creates discouragement & feels like ass. The 2nd one creates determination & courage that’ll help get you out of this adverse situation.

In a tough spot, we don’t know whether your best efforts will make you prevail. But we know that if you don’t give your best, you won’t succeed. Or as the French lotto ad used to say: “100% of the winners have tried their luck.”

Besides, being in control of something, however small, feels much better than powerlessness.

That’s what I mean by taking responsibility. You can always choose your attitude.

Find what agency you have in the situation. Notice what you are learning from going through this ordeal. Stop fighting against the reality of it happening; explore how it’s happening FOR you, rather than TO you.

No bad horses, only untrained riders 🐴

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You know that I normally disapprove of eating instead of embracing discomfort, but in this specific case we’ll actually go for cookies...

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