April 19, 2021

Mélanie Boucarut

When we feel profoundly demotivated…

...we have a tendency to add to the problem by shaming and blaming ourselves:

”I’m so lazy…”

“If I were any good, I’d already have succeeded by now”

“I’m so frustrated with this procrastination of mine!”

“I really have no control over myself”

“the problem is I have no will power”

“the problem is my brain”

“the problem is me”

“the problem is me”

“the problem is me”

It’s as if your kid came to you crying because of a grazed knee, and your way to solve the issue would be to tell them that this wouldn’t have happened if they were any good.

Not so helpful. Definitely not appropriate parenting, even.

But what works is to comfort them first. Give them a big hug. Tell them you love them and everything is going to be alright. Then dress the wound.

Then usually they can’t get out of your arms fast enough to get back to play.

It’s the same thing with ourselves: when we have a little compassion for where we are and how we behave, we can have a look at what causes the demotivation.

When we understand the issue, we stand a much better chance of fixing it.

Blaming yourself ain’t going to solve anything.

Curiosity and compassion: that’s what’ll do the trick.

No bad horses, only untrained riders 🐴

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You know that I normally disapprove of eating instead of embracing discomfort, but in this specific case we’ll actually go for cookies...

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